My Baby Just Passed Away: 5 Godly Principles To Nourish the Souls of the Parents




Have you lost your small one? This is such a touchy subject since I have a new 3 month year old and I would give my life for him if it came down to it. The emotional and spiritual attachment gained in these last months are completely experiential and cannot be explained in an academic or  theoretical manner. Babies and our offspring can be compared to the distinguishable differences between having a true relationship or just an  education  on God theology. God is not looking to be analyzed, but He is looking to build a relationship with His son or daughter. Children have such an impact on us, even when we read everything about them…they are beings that cannot be predictable. Also, we cannot predict the attachment we will have with them unless you have other kids and you have already grown a healthy attachment.  We have parents that give us a sweet glimpse of what it takes to raise children. We were raised on shows that contain the chemistry of the family unit. The media has a way of subconsciously teaching us how society should be whether we think so or not. In society, how are we supposed to handle the knowledge of a tragedy. With the daily news; 90 percent of the information is negative based. Some sitcom shows would never have a loss of a baby  in their episode, due to the fact that it would probably depress people to the point of never watching that show again. I wrote this blog for myself if anything were to happen to my child, I would be able to remind myself what I believe in.

While my wife and I were waiting for Hayden, we thought she lost our child. I was at a national convention and she ran to the bathroom while we were in the hotel room. All I heard was “No,” and sobbing. My mother-in-law  was in the room and I asked her what was happening? She replied ” I’m sorry, I think she is losing the baby.” I never want to hear those sobs ever again. It penetrated the core of my soul; actual pain was inflicted on my body.  I felt like asking myself ” What does this mean”? Almost like I didn’t want to hear the explanation or like I didn’t even hear my mother-in-law. Your just bleeding in the bathroom , it has nothing to do with losing a child was the affirmation I kept telling myself. I know those who are reading and actually lost your child; I feel for you. I wish I could reach out of my words and give you a hug and I could have told you the 5 reasons why there is hope.

Joseph Smith Jr, the prophet of this last dispensation, was very concerned with all the babies passing away during his ministry. Thousands have died due to illnesses, malnutrition, and horrible environment situations around the 1830’s. He needed to ask the Lord what happens to these innocent little ones. As a Catholic, I was taught that when babies pass away without baptism; they would go to Hell. I was convinced that couldn’t be the case for babies since they are so innocent. My mother was asked the same question by a good friend of mine and she thought it seemed logical that a Loving God would take care of his children who came home early. Joseph questioned and God answered.








D&C 137:10 (Part of the Mormon Canon of scripture where the Lord answers Joseph’s questions)

And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom.

Joseph had learned from translating the Book of Mormon that “all little children are alive in Christ, and also all they that are without the law”( Moroni 8:22). He had also learned that children were not held accountable  for their sins until they were eight years old (see D&C 68:25). He learned that the eternal destiny of unaccountable children was to obtain the celestial kingdom. For those not of our faith, the Celestial Kingdom is the highest kingdom you can achieve. You would be with the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father in the highest heavens. What comfort it is to know that your child now resides in the kingdom we all should aspire to achieve with the assistance of our Lord and Savior.


“The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.” Joseph Smith Jr., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith (1976), 196–97.

This is definitely one of my favorite sayings from our prophet Joseph Smith Jr.  The part where it says ” We shall soon have them again” has even a larger context to the mother or father who loses their child.  If you are a Christian, you might already have a feeling that you will re-unite with your small precious one, but something from our modern revelation makes it even a grander reunion.


Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and, pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: “You will have the joy, the pleasure, and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.” There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death. I love this truth. It speaks volumes of happiness, of joy and gratitude to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us.

How amazing would it be to raise your child as if you never lost them? God will provide this!!! Joseph Smith Jr. was given insights on many things. He would see these things in vision and would share it with the saints that were going through persecution and sadness from losing their child. He didn’t do this to console them, he did it teach them God’s true teachings.  He taught other things that would offend the saints similar to how God would find out who the real disciples were. Back in the 1830’s , he would talk about eternal families,  eternal marriages, and people in those days were not accustomed to these teachings. When God spoke to Joseph, his loyalty was to the Lord and not to the saints who were not ready to hear great truths.


As beautiful as this world is, how great is it to know that they will not receive pain, grief, or the sorrow that comes at times with this world. The fact that he/she went directly to our Father in Heaven should bring comfort.  I once had a missionary teach me the reality that we have our Father in Heaven who was our First Parent. Our second parents are the earthly ones. I can’t even imagine being a Heavenly Father and having to watch your child suffer and rejoice in a movie that doesn’t end. I know it must be hard to see your son or daughter getting tempted by the adversary and just knowing that God gets to embrace your son or daughter again. I can positively say that your child will be in Good Hands and Satan never tainted him on this earth.


It is sometimes asked if this applies to children of all races, and of course the answer is that when the revelation says all children it means all children. There is no restriction as to race, kindred, or tongue. Little children are little children and they are all alive in Christ, and all are saved by him, through and because of the Atonement.

Speaking of the Prophet’s statement that all children are saved in the celestial kingdom, President Joseph Fielding Smith said: “This would mean the children of every race. All the spirits that come to this world come from the presence of God and, therefore, must have been in his kingdom. … Every spirit of man was innocent in the beginning; and all who rebelled were cast out; therefore, all who remained are entitled to the blessings of the gospel.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:55.)


During the last few years, I have heard a whisper from a church member or my wife the details about those who lose their child. My first feeling is a feeling of pain in my heart and I pray for their family silently in my heart. A few seconds pass  and then I have the urge to share with them what I know.How would I approach them. I do want them to be comforted, but I don’t want them to feel like I don’t respect their mourning.  Heavenly Father and your child in the heavens want to give you peace.This I know!  Peace must be sought out and answers flow from heaven to the one who asks. My prayer is that this post reaches that right people so that they can feel their child smiling from a better place.  Joseph Smith Jr.  asked the questions over 200 years ago so that we can have peace with the answer the Lord gave him. May this message bring peace to the sleepless and to those who recently lost a small one. God holds them close as you acquired this knowledge today. He wants you to have peace that lasts until you embrace your child again.

Baby in  Jesus' Arms









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